Recently, we’ve been reading and learning from Mark Goulston’s book, “Just Listen”.
Goulston points out the challenge we all face
when selling personal services, or as Daniel Pink says in his recent book, “To Sell is Human”, when trying to get people to “move”:
desires, and agendas. They have secrets they’re hiding from you. And they’re
stressed, busy, and often feeling like they’re in over their heads. To cope
with their stress and insecurity, they throw up mental barricades that make it
difficult to reach them even if they share your goals, and, if they’re hostile,
almost impossible.
with reason and facts, or resort to arguing or encouraging or pleading, and you
might expect to get through—but you won’t. Instead, you’ll get smacked down,
and you’ll never have a clue why.
to the end of the Persuasion Cycle, you need to speak with them in a manner
that moves them: From resisting to listening.
From listening to considering. From
considering to willing to do. From willing to do to doing. From doing to glad they did and continuing to
do.
try connecting with people on an emotional level. Make them “feel felt”.
FEEL “FELT”. Here’s all you need to do.
the other person is feeling, such as “frustrated,” “angry,” or “afraid.”
what you’re feeling and I think it’s ————— . . .” and fill in an emotion. “Is
that correct? If it’s not, then what are you feeling?” Wait for the person to
agree or correct you.
upset, etc.) are you?” Give the person time to respond. Be prepared, at least
initially, for a torrent of emotions—especially if the person you’re talking
with is holding years of pent-up frustration, anger, or fear inside. This is
not the time to fight back, or air your own grievances.
so frustrated (angry, upset, etc.) is because. . . ?” Again, let the person
vent.
happen for that feeling to feel better?”
making that happen? What part can you play in making that happen?”